Thrills, pills and a headscarf

It's a significant month of the year for me. Every year for the last nine years the 20th of May has been significant for me. On this day, in 2009, I set out on the biggest adventure of my life - living! I had cleared out most of what I owned and packed a back pack (my heart still swells every time I look at that pack, and if you've ever travelled like that you'll understand what I mean by my feeling of attachment) and got on a one way flight stopping in Dubai and on to London. Of course my gypsy spirit wouldn't let me stop there, but I won't get too far ahead just yet. This month is also significant for a new reason this year. It's the month that I beat the odds for the first time. This part isn't pleasant reading but when I got the incurable diagnosis I asked for a timeline. A horrible question for any medical professional, I'm sure, both because I imagine it is unpleasant information to deliver and also because there's no definite. My oncologis...

It's not just me who says that. The sky is indicating that might be the case too and I'm sure there are many others with a similar feeling today. This isn't a happy, positive post - don't worry, at least it's brief. Brief because it wasn't supposed to be my next topic but this morning it was crying out (literally) to be said, because it's a teary sort of day. Don't ask me why, I could list you some potential reasons but none of them are specific, it just is. And that's it, somedays it just is. My mum had two key quotes about crying. "If you play with the boys, you play by the boys' rules." Which meant I wasn't allowed to cry when I got hurt. I made no decision to play this round so I feel her other saying is more applicable. "Let it go. Let it out. Let it wash you from the inside out" (When I was allowed to cry). I was raised to be pretty tough so the emotion involved in the last year has been a real learning c...

I like to think I was a fairly present person before this cancer diagnosis. I like to think a lot of things.  What I can say is this diagnosis has made me a far more present person, in so many ways, than ever before. Even with that wonderful chemo brain that makes me unbelievably forgetful, with the fatigue, nausea and tendency to space out (particularly when I'm low on blood sugars) I believe I'm learning the art of being more present. Note I say learning, not have learnt. (If we ever think we've reached perfection then we've failed ourselves - a hangover from my Learning and Development days) Something I realised after being told I may have less time than many is that I wanted my family and friends to know just how much they mean to me. For my nephews and nieces to know that as long as they continue being the wonderful people they are and never hurt anyone I will always think the world of them, that they are amazing and I couldn't ask for anyone better to...

Written, as promised, for my mother. Since I started travelling I said you always want things to go really right or really wrong - you never want average. At least with really right or really wrong you've got a good story. This is a rationale I started applying to life too. I had no idea how much it was going to come back and bite me in the arse! About a week after returning from my South America trip I sat in a cafe with my mum in Karangahake, discussing many things including my health - or lack thereof. She said to me that I may be giving a false impression that this is an easy journey with my positivity. That several people had commented on how well I was dealing with this and I acknowledged I had had similar comments. So, because it's the year of yes and because I love my mum (even though I tell her the wonderful daughterly things like how terrible she is and how I'm pretty sure her carcinogenic toasted sandwiches were the cause of the cancer in the first place)...

I've always said that travelling gave me an education I could never buy. One that could never be taught in schools or universities; that simply needs to be learnt as each opportunity presents itself. Those opportunities could be great fun or amazingly challenging. All of them important to deal with. I feel so thankful to have had another four weeks to continue my education in life and as slow as I've been on my blogs I want to share some of those learnings. Some useful, some not. Language is great in it's ambiguity: I thought I spoke Spanish to a point. I guess that's still strictly true but we had some fun experiences with it. It was quite empowering to realise I was still able to get by in Spanish, speak to people and get done what I needed to get done even if it wasn't perfect. What I did learn was there are many more differences between the Castellano I have learnt and South American Spanish. In some of many language confusions we established that ...

I want to start my blog by thanking all those who have said yes with me. Yes to living, yes to appreciating each moment and embracing each experience. I made a bold statement to put it out there that I was going to live a year of yes and I'm not regretting it. Today marks my one year anniversary/ commemoration/ celebration (I don't know which word to use here) of the beginning of my fight against cancer. I spent yesterday (the actual anniversary in New Zealand time) experiencing Iguazu Falls and, it's not often that this happens, it left me speechless! The sheer power, force and determination overwhelmed in both a pensive and excited way. I feel so thankful to have been able to have had this experience! I'm now more than two weeks into travelling, and more than two weeks into saying yes, and I have truly embraced it. I left a little piece of my heart in Buenos Aires; a crazy, busy, bustling city so full of beauty and fun! The colours of La Boca, Tango in Sa...