Thrills, pills and a headscarf

These last few weeks I’ve been waging mental war against the demons that like to creep in from time to time. This presents itself in many ways, a lot of which can go unnoticed by others and rely on me to take action. I can struggle with motivation, have trouble keeping a positive frame of mind, get annoyed by small things and struggle with eating – either not wanting food or not eating well. I have the ability to acknowledge that there are many reasons this could happen. I’m still waiting to find out what will happen with treatment (almost two months of not knowing); I’ve been very sick with a virus which knocked my more fragile body about and this has stopped me doing things I would like to have done. Not being active or social are immediate red flags for diminishing mental health for me and I know I need to work harder when these things are limited. I often get comments about how happy I am. How I almost always have a smile and am so positive about such an unfortunate illne...

"Tired of trying to cram her sparkly, star-shaped self into society's beige square holes, she chose to embrace her ridiculous awesomeness and shine like the freaking supernova she was meant to be." My aunt posted this quote months ago and I just had to save it, knowing it was exactly what I want to say in this post! This post is probably the most important one yet for me. I've known I've wanted to write it for sometime, I've spoken to large groups of teenagers just scratching the surface on this topic and I feel like now is the time. It's the time because this is the month of my 32nd birthday (I know many of you will be shocked I'm not turning 24 again this year!), and it's also the month I'm going to start the process of losing my physical identity again as I begin back on intravenous chemotherapy. To be honest my physical identity is starting to feel so fluid I'm not really sure I know what it is anymore. It's also the tim...