Thrills, pills and a headscarf

These last few weeks I’ve been waging mental war against the demons that like to creep in from time to time. This presents itself in many ways, a lot of which can go unnoticed by others and rely on me to take action. I can struggle with motivation, have trouble keeping a positive frame of mind, get annoyed by small things and struggle with eating – either not wanting food or not eating well. I have the ability to acknowledge that there are many reasons this could happen. I’m still waiting to find out what will happen with treatment (almost two months of not knowing); I’ve been very sick with a virus which knocked my more fragile body about and this has stopped me doing things I would like to have done. Not being active or social are immediate red flags for diminishing mental health for me and I know I need to work harder when these things are limited. I often get comments about how happy I am. How I almost always have a smile and am so positive about such an unfortunate illne...

Written, as promised, for my mother. Since I started travelling I said you always want things to go really right or really wrong - you never want average. At least with really right or really wrong you've got a good story. This is a rationale I started applying to life too. I had no idea how much it was going to come back and bite me in the arse! About a week after returning from my South America trip I sat in a cafe with my mum in Karangahake, discussing many things including my health - or lack thereof. She said to me that I may be giving a false impression that this is an easy journey with my positivity. That several people had commented on how well I was dealing with this and I acknowledged I had had similar comments. So, because it's the year of yes and because I love my mum (even though I tell her the wonderful daughterly things like how terrible she is and how I'm pretty sure her carcinogenic toasted sandwiches were the cause of the cancer in the first place)...