Thrills, pills and a headscarf

I like to think I was a fairly present person before this cancer diagnosis. I like to think a lot of things.  What I can say is this diagnosis has made me a far more present person, in so many ways, than ever before. Even with that wonderful chemo brain that makes me unbelievably forgetful, with the fatigue, nausea and tendency to space out (particularly when I'm low on blood sugars) I believe I'm learning the art of being more present. Note I say learning, not have learnt. (If we ever think we've reached perfection then we've failed ourselves - a hangover from my Learning and Development days) Something I realised after being told I may have less time than many is that I wanted my family and friends to know just how much they mean to me. For my nephews and nieces to know that as long as they continue being the wonderful people they are and never hurt anyone I will always think the world of them, that they are amazing and I couldn't ask for anyone better to...

Written, as promised, for my mother. Since I started travelling I said you always want things to go really right or really wrong - you never want average. At least with really right or really wrong you've got a good story. This is a rationale I started applying to life too. I had no idea how much it was going to come back and bite me in the arse! About a week after returning from my South America trip I sat in a cafe with my mum in Karangahake, discussing many things including my health - or lack thereof. She said to me that I may be giving a false impression that this is an easy journey with my positivity. That several people had commented on how well I was dealing with this and I acknowledged I had had similar comments. So, because it's the year of yes and because I love my mum (even though I tell her the wonderful daughterly things like how terrible she is and how I'm pretty sure her carcinogenic toasted sandwiches were the cause of the cancer in the first place)...

I've always said that travelling gave me an education I could never buy. One that could never be taught in schools or universities; that simply needs to be learnt as each opportunity presents itself. Those opportunities could be great fun or amazingly challenging. All of them important to deal with. I feel so thankful to have had another four weeks to continue my education in life and as slow as I've been on my blogs I want to share some of those learnings. Some useful, some not. Language is great in it's ambiguity: I thought I spoke Spanish to a point. I guess that's still strictly true but we had some fun experiences with it. It was quite empowering to realise I was still able to get by in Spanish, speak to people and get done what I needed to get done even if it wasn't perfect. What I did learn was there are many more differences between the Castellano I have learnt and South American Spanish. In some of many language confusions we established that ...

I want to start my blog by thanking all those who have said yes with me. Yes to living, yes to appreciating each moment and embracing each experience. I made a bold statement to put it out there that I was going to live a year of yes and I'm not regretting it. Today marks my one year anniversary/ commemoration/ celebration (I don't know which word to use here) of the beginning of my fight against cancer. I spent yesterday (the actual anniversary in New Zealand time) experiencing Iguazu Falls and, it's not often that this happens, it left me speechless! The sheer power, force and determination overwhelmed in both a pensive and excited way. I feel so thankful to have been able to have had this experience! I'm now more than two weeks into travelling, and more than two weeks into saying yes, and I have truly embraced it. I left a little piece of my heart in Buenos Aires; a crazy, busy, bustling city so full of beauty and fun! The colours of La Boca, Tango in Sa...

In October 2016, I sat with my friend, in Bulgaria on my 30th birthday, after a somewhat stressful year, and told her 2017 was going to be amazing, I had decided I was really going to live it. What I didn't elaborate on was my plan for this - I was going to live a year of yes. Essentially I was going to say yes to everything unless it didn't fit with my moral code; that way I would truly experience everything the world was going to offer. I had no idea what 2017 had in hold for me and in reflection I did have a year of yes of sorts. I said yes, slice me open - twice; yes, load me full of pills; yes, inject me with bags of chemicals.... all because I want to spend as much time here as I can. Over the last couple of days I've read many reflections from friends around the world saying they hope the next year will be better. Although this year is far from what I had hoped for I have to say there is plenty in 2017 which I have loved. I have re-established old friendships, fo...

"I used to think time was a thief. But you give before you take. Time is a gift. Every minute. Every Second."  - Alice Kingsliegh from Alice through the Looking Glass. This quote really resonated with me the other day when watching the film for the second time (the first time thinking I was perfectly healthy and had decades left in my life). It made me really think about my appreciation of the time I have and the people and opportunities I have or have had in my life. About a month ago I took another blow to my already "not great" diagnosis. My treatment plan is out the window and lots of question marks started flying around my medical teams. What did I do in response to this news? Insisted we had dinner by the waterfront and the next morning I went to the beach. Sitting on the beach I was happy. Not a feeling many people might expect me to feel the day after that news but I felt so fortunate to be able to take myself to the beach, feel the sun shining do...