Invest in yourself!
I recently sat in a bar in Manchester chatting to a friend who asked me about my blogs and how I write them. I explained that I don't blog to a schedule, it has to be when the time is right and I have the right topic. For that reason this one started in Madrid and is ending in New Zealand because I wasn't going to do it until I could really focus on it.
There have been a lot of clues to point me in the direction of this topic lately. A lot of events or statements that got me thinking about how easily we neglect ourselves as we get caught up in "life", often forgetting that life is living.
To set the scene of this blog, it started sat in a little apartment in Madrid at 7.30am, having given in to the jet lag that had had me awake since 5.15am. I finally decided this time before the city really comes alive could be used far more productively (and more enjoyably than tossing and turning trying to sleep). I opened the balcony doors (the only time it will be cool enough for me to do so that day) and was listening to traffic, the chatter of construction workers in the building across the way, and a lady below having an argument on the phone.
Why was I in Madrid at all? It's a question I've been asked several times. And the only answer I can come up with is I just wanted to be. I lived there for two years. I've seen the main things in the city, there was nothing specifically new to discover and yet I knew I wanted to be there. I wanted to feel the baking heat, inhale the specific smells and speak the language of a city I've called home. A city that claims a piece of my heart.
Actually I feel like it was a truly wonderful decision I made too. After having some symptoms, which we believe to be stress-induced, this trip became even more touch-and-go than I thought. This break in a city I love and am familiar with felt like a great way to get myself relaxed for the rest of my time away. Really, it's funny to look at the lies we are able to tell ourselves. I thought I was dealing with everything very well until the weekend before I left when I admitted feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything (not just last-minute trip planning). By then the admission was too late and the symptoms were starting. This is one clue I needed to think about how I invest in myself.
This means my plans for Madrid became very fluid. From a health perspective I couldn't afford to be racing around the city trying to be everywhere and do everything. I just took it all as it came and allowed myself to enjoy what turned out to be an amazing time.
The night before leaving I helped my mother out (figured I may owe her a little after these 18 months) with an event her and her colleague were running. It was an event for coaches and those interested in coaching. I had fun, obviously because it involved chatting to people and this is a specialist skill for me. What I really noticed was how great the energy was in that room. Each person had taken that evening to come along and invest in their own development, they were friendly, enthusiastic and curious and I stood at the back looking at the room and thought this is exactly the sort of thing we should all be doing. We should all take time to invest in ourselves.
This is where the idea for this blog had first popped into my head. I started to explore it further. This was a more professional event and for me fighting cancer and living life is a full-time (plus some) job. So I started to ponder how I still invest in myself....
Then of course I realised I was getting on a plane the next day. Yup, once again with incurable cancer, nasty hitch-hikers; I was off to explore more of the world, see friends I thought I might never again, be at my friends' wedding and cuddle other friends' newborn baby. I was pushing myself outside of my comfort zone again. I was travelling to a new country in an area of the world I adore! Plus a new country in an area of the world I've never explored. I was most definitely investing in myself!
Every time I take on something new or that I haven't done since the diagnosis I rediscover my ability which shows me my year of yes is truly investing in myself.
I write this blog to share experiences with others, to try to make the topic of cancer less taboo and more matter of fact and hopefully to inspire others to get out and live their lives. I also write this blog to stimulate my brain. Writing is something I've always loved to do and I find it rewarding to share and to put myself in a space to think. While travelling it has been beautiful to discover how many people read my blog and some of the impact it has had for them. I feel honoured that there are people who take time out of their day to read my ramblings. I feel even more honoured that they "hear" some of what I'm expressing.
Investing in myself can be indirect too. I get a great kick out of seeing those near and dear to me, and even complete strangers in fairness, happy. I invest in their happiness wherever possible. That may be simply spending time together, supporting them or just complimenting a stranger. Investing in their happiness creates my own happiness.
Take time out! Another pointer towards this blog - I read a post the other day saying if anyone knew the secret to taking time out then please share. This was followed by multiple comments along the same lines. I wondered why we lose sight of this. I think I'm pretty good at this on the whole, my happy place is in nature and ideally near water. So I try to take regular time out going down to the beach at home, sitting on the porch at the cottage or more recently in my favourite park in Madrid. This time where I don't actively think but I let a lot pass through my head is such a wonderful release from everything that is going on. While travelling in cities I found other ways to take time out. I love wandering old buildings and getting lost in their beauty so although I was supposed to rest more I decided to rest my head instead of my feet and take myself off for some little solitary wanders.
I took control of many of my actions and it was wonderful to see my strength in this. Firstly I set a two drink limit for myself when I went out. I broke this once because I was feeling a bit more confident and I felt the result while popping anti-nausea pills. Setting this meant I could enjoy my time more and look after myself. I felt no issue with turning down drinks and taking care of myself.
I also realised stress was something I needed to avoid as I didn't need to get ill again. It astonished me the way I was able to take control of my emotions and when I felt any sign of stress or frustration coming on I reminded myself it was unhealthy for me and what I needed to do at that point was stay calm and focus on a solution. I am determined to continue using this technique now I'm back!
What I've also loved is catching up with friends I haven't seen for a while and finding out how they've been investing in themselves. Whether it's developing careers, relationships, families or goals; I have been so happy getting to share some of that with them and encouraging them to continue being the wonderful people they are.
While travelling I had a notebook with me. I wrote down my daily gratitude and set my goals for the near future. These are things that keep me focussed on the living. These make me feel positive. Even better, it's an activity that takes almost no time at all yet just enough to have it's impact.
So as I finish up this blog, once again jet lagged after landing in New Zealand, I ask you to think about what you do to invest in yourself and reward yourself for that. Think big, think small - it doesn't matter. Also, what else do you want to do to invest in yourself?! Never stop, we are the most valuable thing we have in our lives, we mustn't forget about maintenance.
There have been a lot of clues to point me in the direction of this topic lately. A lot of events or statements that got me thinking about how easily we neglect ourselves as we get caught up in "life", often forgetting that life is living.
To set the scene of this blog, it started sat in a little apartment in Madrid at 7.30am, having given in to the jet lag that had had me awake since 5.15am. I finally decided this time before the city really comes alive could be used far more productively (and more enjoyably than tossing and turning trying to sleep). I opened the balcony doors (the only time it will be cool enough for me to do so that day) and was listening to traffic, the chatter of construction workers in the building across the way, and a lady below having an argument on the phone.
Why was I in Madrid at all? It's a question I've been asked several times. And the only answer I can come up with is I just wanted to be. I lived there for two years. I've seen the main things in the city, there was nothing specifically new to discover and yet I knew I wanted to be there. I wanted to feel the baking heat, inhale the specific smells and speak the language of a city I've called home. A city that claims a piece of my heart.
In Retiro, one of my favourite places in Madrid
Actually I feel like it was a truly wonderful decision I made too. After having some symptoms, which we believe to be stress-induced, this trip became even more touch-and-go than I thought. This break in a city I love and am familiar with felt like a great way to get myself relaxed for the rest of my time away. Really, it's funny to look at the lies we are able to tell ourselves. I thought I was dealing with everything very well until the weekend before I left when I admitted feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything (not just last-minute trip planning). By then the admission was too late and the symptoms were starting. This is one clue I needed to think about how I invest in myself.
This means my plans for Madrid became very fluid. From a health perspective I couldn't afford to be racing around the city trying to be everywhere and do everything. I just took it all as it came and allowed myself to enjoy what turned out to be an amazing time.
The night before leaving I helped my mother out (figured I may owe her a little after these 18 months) with an event her and her colleague were running. It was an event for coaches and those interested in coaching. I had fun, obviously because it involved chatting to people and this is a specialist skill for me. What I really noticed was how great the energy was in that room. Each person had taken that evening to come along and invest in their own development, they were friendly, enthusiastic and curious and I stood at the back looking at the room and thought this is exactly the sort of thing we should all be doing. We should all take time to invest in ourselves.
This is where the idea for this blog had first popped into my head. I started to explore it further. This was a more professional event and for me fighting cancer and living life is a full-time (plus some) job. So I started to ponder how I still invest in myself....
Then of course I realised I was getting on a plane the next day. Yup, once again with incurable cancer, nasty hitch-hikers; I was off to explore more of the world, see friends I thought I might never again, be at my friends' wedding and cuddle other friends' newborn baby. I was pushing myself outside of my comfort zone again. I was travelling to a new country in an area of the world I adore! Plus a new country in an area of the world I've never explored. I was most definitely investing in myself!
Bran Castle, Transylvania
Exploring Hong Kong
Every time I take on something new or that I haven't done since the diagnosis I rediscover my ability which shows me my year of yes is truly investing in myself.
I write this blog to share experiences with others, to try to make the topic of cancer less taboo and more matter of fact and hopefully to inspire others to get out and live their lives. I also write this blog to stimulate my brain. Writing is something I've always loved to do and I find it rewarding to share and to put myself in a space to think. While travelling it has been beautiful to discover how many people read my blog and some of the impact it has had for them. I feel honoured that there are people who take time out of their day to read my ramblings. I feel even more honoured that they "hear" some of what I'm expressing.
Investing in myself can be indirect too. I get a great kick out of seeing those near and dear to me, and even complete strangers in fairness, happy. I invest in their happiness wherever possible. That may be simply spending time together, supporting them or just complimenting a stranger. Investing in their happiness creates my own happiness.
Take time out! Another pointer towards this blog - I read a post the other day saying if anyone knew the secret to taking time out then please share. This was followed by multiple comments along the same lines. I wondered why we lose sight of this. I think I'm pretty good at this on the whole, my happy place is in nature and ideally near water. So I try to take regular time out going down to the beach at home, sitting on the porch at the cottage or more recently in my favourite park in Madrid. This time where I don't actively think but I let a lot pass through my head is such a wonderful release from everything that is going on. While travelling in cities I found other ways to take time out. I love wandering old buildings and getting lost in their beauty so although I was supposed to rest more I decided to rest my head instead of my feet and take myself off for some little solitary wanders.
An old library in Manchester. So much to make me happy.
I also realised stress was something I needed to avoid as I didn't need to get ill again. It astonished me the way I was able to take control of my emotions and when I felt any sign of stress or frustration coming on I reminded myself it was unhealthy for me and what I needed to do at that point was stay calm and focus on a solution. I am determined to continue using this technique now I'm back!
What I've also loved is catching up with friends I haven't seen for a while and finding out how they've been investing in themselves. Whether it's developing careers, relationships, families or goals; I have been so happy getting to share some of that with them and encouraging them to continue being the wonderful people they are.
Just some of the friends I got to spend time with
While travelling I had a notebook with me. I wrote down my daily gratitude and set my goals for the near future. These are things that keep me focussed on the living. These make me feel positive. Even better, it's an activity that takes almost no time at all yet just enough to have it's impact.
So as I finish up this blog, once again jet lagged after landing in New Zealand, I ask you to think about what you do to invest in yourself and reward yourself for that. Think big, think small - it doesn't matter. Also, what else do you want to do to invest in yourself?! Never stop, we are the most valuable thing we have in our lives, we mustn't forget about maintenance.
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