"Actually, the best gift you could have given her was a lifetime of adventures...." - Lewis Carroll

It's a significant month of the year for me. Every year for the last nine years the 20th of May has been significant for me. On this day, in 2009, I set out on the biggest adventure of my life - living!

I had cleared out most of what I owned and packed a back pack (my heart still swells every time I look at that pack, and if you've ever travelled like that you'll understand what I mean by my feeling of attachment) and got on a one way flight stopping in Dubai and on to London. Of course my gypsy spirit wouldn't let me stop there, but I won't get too far ahead just yet.

This month is also significant for a new reason this year. It's the month that I beat the odds for the first time. This part isn't pleasant reading but when I got the incurable diagnosis I asked for a timeline. A horrible question for any medical professional, I'm sure, both because I imagine it is unpleasant information to deliver and also because there's no definite. My oncologist very sensibly went with the statistics - 50% of people with this type of metastatic cancer don't make it beyond a year, 20% don't make it beyond five years. I wanted to know this because my response was "I'm going to prove you wrong now" and I very much believe he wanted me to be right in this case.

Well I have beaten that first hurdle. This month I beat the first part of the statistic and my eye is most certainly on the prize for the second part. I am determined to live.

That is just it. I am determined to live. I am determined to have a lifetime of adventures. I've always been one to make the most of a situation and travelling really brought that out in me. From an organised and slightly intense character I learnt to relax and go where the wind took me. It really took me on a fascinating and educational journey too. I started off with a bit of structure, a bit of research before I went to a new place which quickly transformed to winging it and research was considered a quick read up whilst on the train or plane on the way there. My most visited website became Hostelworld and my decision for booking was based on location and fun rating. The bathroom was never going to be as clean as the one at home so I concluded instead of worrying about that I'd rather have a laugh.

Befriending camels in Dubai (not entirely confidently)

I knew that I didn't want to live by anybody else's schedule, that's why I chose solo-travel, and I made decisions on what to do, what to see and where to go by what felt right at the time. In fact I never had any plans to go to Scotland until one day when I was somewhere in Yorkshire and got a call from my bank in the UK as I hadn't received a letter. I asked them what my postal address was, slightly confusing the person on the other end, and then ended up explaining I didn't actually live anywhere. Once he understood I was just travelling around at this point he asked me if I was going to Scotland. My response was, "I don't know, why should I?". After a very persuasive conversation (maybe that guy now works for the Scottish Tourism Board...) I was convinced and went to the train station the next day to buy a ticket. This was one of many amazing decisions I made as I know I left a little piece of my heart in that beautiful country and this is where I started making friends I still have contact with to this day.

                                     

                                        Discovering Scotland with some faces from home


                                     

           In Scotland, testing out a theory about beauty that was probably just intended for torture


From here I made my way back to London, met a girl from Australia in a hostel and while discussing my next plans she decided to join me for a while. This is how it worked, everything was fluid and travel companions were everywhere. Through Paris and Marseille I made my way to Barcelona which I loved and also had one of my most memorable experiences. After a slip down some wet stairs I ended up in hospital via ambulance. The lovely security guard took pity on us, wheeled me outside to sit in the sun with my friend and there we accidentally befriended a Portuguese transvestite who sung, danced and told us stories to entertain us for the entire day. It was so bizarre I started to wonder if I'd already been given drugs without seeing a doctor.

                                                

                                     In Paris, discovering my love for slapping naked statues


Anyway, off my nut on pain killers I went on to Valencia to take part in La Tomatina after which I cried tomatoes for two days and couldn't even face them for about two months.

Finally I made my way to Madrid and ended up living there for almost two years, working as an English teacher. This was the most intense education I've had in my life. On top of needing to learn a new language, it was also the first time I'd lived away from home and had to think about all the day to day responsibilities. I got robbed and ripped off by my workplace and landlords and all of this was simply an education about life. Every time I go back to Madrid I feel like I'm in one of my homes, I don't feel any malice towards these things, they were learning experiences which made me wiser and less naive for the next stages of life. I had truly wonderful experiences here and started to create my first overseas "family". I made lifelong friendships here with amazing people and for that I will forever be thankful. I grew up in Madrid and really learnt what the world was about. I realised not everyone had the fortune of growing up in the safe little bubble that I had, that not all countries are able to support their population like New Zealand and just what an influence previous politics can have on culture. I started to see the world and learn like I never could in school or university.

                                                  

                                                                           Why not?


                                        

                                              Some pre-Christmas celebrations in Salamanca


                                                   
                     
                                                        Two amazing friends from Madrid


                                        

                             And two more, this time exploring Manchester's Christmas markets


From Madrid I moved onto the UK. I remember my first big commitment there. I was about to sign a two year contract for my mobile phone and my palms were sweating, I think there was even a hint of nausea, and the salesman was very confused. I had lived such a transient life for over two years and at that point I wasn't sure how I was going to cope with this step.

From my experience teaching (something I'd got into easily through developing and facilitating a youth programme back here while I was still a youth myself) I ended up training people who had been unemployed for a long period of time. Now this was a good step for my own development and yet another eye opener but it was too emotionally draining for me. So after a couple of years I moved into a role I truly loved, working in Learning and Development in a company. When asked why things didn't stress me out, thanks to travel and the previous job, I always had a story of something more challenging that had happened!

So from those early steps, my first job here in New Zealand and getting on that plane alone, I developed an adventure full of opportunities and experiences for myself.

Of course, this isn't the adventure for everyone! We all have to choose our own paths for adventure, for some that may be a career they love and are fully invested in, for others it may be wanting a family, who knows what else. My point is to take every good opportunity presented to you. Don't let them slip through your fingers and then look back on life wondering what you've done.

There are many more things I plan to do with my life or wanted to do with my life that may not be possible now. What I can say is when that incurable diagnosis was given at least I could look back on my 30 years of life and know that I truly lived an adventure I love!

In fact I can greatly credit the strength and learning I gained from this adventure for my ability to cope with the diagnosis, treatment and side effects. This is the hardest challenge I've ever faced but knowing my love for life and that I have overcome so many challenges before gives me the will to get up and face each day with a smile (mostly). I am immensely grateful for that because it makes that time more rewarding both for me and those around me.

As I type this, I'm sat in my mother's office (where it is currently warmest and I'm trying to convince myself that winter hasn't really hit). I've just looked over to my left and seen this quote in a frame.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover "- Mark Twain

So for those of you not living your life to the fullest I encourage you to take time out, think about what you desire in life and find a way to go out and live it! Love it! Adventure through your lifetime!

Thank you to all the wonderful people who have played and continue to play a part in my adventure of life. There are far too many to mention here but to those close to home and further afield, you are truly precious to me, all with your unique roles and special places in my heart. 
Also, congratulations and good luck to my big brother who has just taken the next step in his great adventure. I'll miss you and am also so excited for you. 

The quote I always think about on the 20th of May